Tonight as Hayden is falling asleep I sit at the foot of his bed, with my arms on the mattress and my head resting there. He cuddles his stuffed monkey, covered with his cozy and his little socked feet stick out from under the covers. The socks are black and white striped and they remind me of the way Hayden imitates the referees while Arnie’s watching football. I hear Mason’s soft snoring from his spot across the room, right in time with the sound machine that’s supposed to help them settle deeper into dream land. Suddenly the simple contentment and peacefulness of that moment crashes into me like a wave.
I realize that for the past few months I’ve just been so caught up in the everyday busyness that we haven’t had any of those moments. Well, the moments have been there, but I’ve missed them. The time passed and I let it slip right by without grabbing hold and cherishing. A part of me aches at the realization. Isn’t that part of my goals and dreams for my family… that we hold on to the simplest but still so important things in our lives? It is, and yet we haven’t.
This insight has come at a perfect time. I’m about to start a work from home position that I plan to do while the boys are sleeping, but that means more time cleaning, preparing meals, etc while they’re awake. So it will mean new things for us, finding a way to take the time and still notice the joys of life that have slipped by for the past few months, but at the same time watch my schedule get busier. I see that I need to prepare for it, to be ready to contend with the hectic and demanding so we can preserve the calm and beloved.
Beloved times like tonight, staring as striped socks and listening to baby’s breathing in the sweet night.
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