Me Time

           “Me time.”  I heard the phrase a thousand times while I was pregnant with Hayden.  “Make sure you take time for you” was the most common advice I received.  Well, I didn’t.  I honestly don’t think I knew how.  It was so automatic those first months (ok- years) to just spend my time focused on our home and Hayden.  It was too easy to feel behind if I worked on a craft project or sat down to lose myself in a book.  Or I’d feel like I was neglecting my family if dinner wasn’t from scratch and on the table at the same time every night.  Then along came Mason, a move across three states, a new job for Arnie and well… you get the idea.  Me time was non-existent, I still didn’t know how to do it and yet I needed it more than ever. 

I began to feel awful about myself.  I felt frumpy, I didn’t like my post-pregnancy body, the house didn’t seem clean enough for how much time I spent on it and I felt like I wasn’t being a good mommy to my boys.  I needed to do something to get out of the funk that I was in, but again, how do I do that?

It started with a Pilates class 3 months ago.  I’d never done Pilates.  I’m not athletic…at all.  But our neighbor across the street hosts a Pilates class in her basement every Monday night and invited me to come.  Arnie encouraged me to go, so I did, and it was so much fun.

I love my Monday night workouts, talking to other Moms in our neighborhood and stretching my body.  I feel great when I get home and know when I miss a week.  But more than working out, its encouraged me to take more time for myself.  I don’t leave the boys with daddy any other night of the week, but I realized that when I took that time I was a better Mommy all the way around.  So now, even if I have stuff to do around the house, I take the boys’ daily rest time to do something for me.  I read, write, knit or take a little snooze of my own (that’s only occasionally though).  Its so nice to feel refreshed and ready to be there for my boys.  Of course, a lot of the time they don’t nap at the same time and those days I don’t get “me time.”  But because I’ve spent other days focused on doing something small for myself, it doesn’t bother me.

Its also helped me to see other areas that I’ve neglected.  My wardrobe was horrible (something I realized when trying to pack for Michigan’s cooler weather for our visit to see family).  Nothing fit and I’m missing some key items (like a coat!) and while I was putting it off until I lost all the pregnancy weight, I can see that it was affecting the way I feel about myself.  I hardly ever wear make-up or actually do my hair, and these are things I used to enjoy that made me feel good about myself.  So I got my hair done before our Michigan trip and I started to remedy the clothing issue with a fun shopping trip with my mom just yesterday. 

I have a long way to go on making sure I take care of myself, and because its easy to fall back into old habits I have to actually remind myself that I’m important too and that I’m better at taking care of my family when I carve out time for me.  Yes, carve it out.

I still don’t have it together.  I’m still frumpy most days, the house is messier than I’d like and there’s always room for improvement on the Mommy front.  But Im slowly beginning to feel better about me and that makes a world of difference in how I view life.  Now if only I could make myself workout more often than Monday Pilates.